https://www.khutbah.info/perils-of-inciting-conflict/ From among the biggest calamities and sins is inciting conflict and damaging other people’s relationships. Such as that of a husband and a wife, or two friends, or a daughter and her mother, or an employee and his boss as well as other relationships. And it is one of the major sins because it is corrupts relations between people and sows conflict. And Abu Hurairah, may Allāh be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said: He is not one of us who incites a wife against her husband or the servant against his master. [Sunan an-Nasa’i 1866] And Al Manaawee, may Allāh have mercy on him, said, the transgression increases if the wife or servant is a neighbor or relative. And Abu Hurairah, may Allāh be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said: Beware of spreading corruption between the people, for it is the razor. I do not say that it shaves the hair. Rather it shaves the religion. [Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2508]
إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ ,نَحْمَدُهُ ,وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ , وَنَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا ,مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ , وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ , وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ وَأَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ
Verily, all praise is for Allah. We praise Him, we seek His assistance and we ask for His forgiveness. And we seek refuge in Him from the evils of our selves. Whoever Allah guides, none can misguide. Whoever He misguides, none can guide. And I bear witness that there is no deity other than Allah and I bear witness that Mohammad is His slave and messenger.
يَا أَيُّهَا الّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُونَ – آل عمران:102
Al Imran 102 : O you who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared, and die not except in a state of Islam.
Oh people:
From among the biggest calamities and sins is inciting conflict and damaging other people’s relationships. Such as that of a husband and a wife, or two friends, or a daughter and her mother, or an employee and his boss as well as other relationships.
And it is one of the major sins because it is corrupts relations between people and sows conflict. And Abu Hurairah, may Allāh be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said:
لَيْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ خَبَّبَ امْرَأَةً عَلَى زَوْجِهَا أَوْ عَبْدًا عَلَى سَيِّدِهِ
He is not one of us who incites a wife against her husband or the servant against his master. [Sunan an-Nasa’i 1866]
And Al Manaawee, may Allāh have mercy on him, said, the transgression increases if the wife or servant is a neighbor or relative.
And Abu Hurairah, may Allāh be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said:
إِيَّاكُمْ وَسُوءُ ذَاتِ البَيْنِ ، فَإِنَّهَا الحَالِقَةُ ، لَا أَقُولُ : تَحْلِقُ الشَّعَرَ ، وَلَكِنْ تَحْلِقُ الدِّينَ
Beware of spreading corruption between the people, for it is the razor. I do not say that it shaves the hair. Rather it shaves the religion. [Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2508]
And Ibn Qayim, may Allāh have mercy on him, said that ruining social relations is from the biggest major sins. And if the Prophet ﷺ prohibited seeking the hand of a woman being suited by his (Muslim) brother, and prohibited offering a price above that offered by his (Muslim) brother [see Muslim 1413d], so how about the one who strives to ruin the relationship between a man and his wife so that he can get to her? For in that is a transgression that perhaps is no less than the sin of unlawful intimate relations, if not more. And the repentance for an unlawful intimate relation does not do away with the rights of others. For if repentance redresses the right of Allāh, then the right of the person will remain, and he will have a claim upon him on the Day of Resurrection. For indeed it is wronging a father to ruin the relationship with his son whom he values more than himself. And wronging a husband by corrupting the relationship with his wife. And transgressing the marital bed is worse and more harmful than taking someone’s entire wealth.
Inciting the destruction of relationships has spread and because of it friendships have been destroyed, ties of kinship have been broken and divorce rates have increased. How many women have complained to their friend about their husbands while there is no home free of challenges. Instead of encouraging the wife to see the positives in her husband and situation, her friend kindles and fans the flames of discord. And her friend begins to pick out and magnify the husband’s faults. To the point that her friend charges her against her husband. And perhaps her friend is facing the same types of issues, but she is corrupting her friend’s marriage and deceiving her.
And how many men have corrupted the marriage relationship of their friend by undermining his wife and her rights or encouraging him to fall short with her, all in the name of counsel!
When the wives of the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ got together and asked him for extra money, Allāh’s command was revealed for them to choose between staying with the Prophet ﷺ or divorce. So he ﷺ started with Aisha and said:
يَا عَائِشَةُ ، إِنِّى أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَعْرِضَ عَلَيْكَ أَمْرًا أُحِبُّ أَنْ لَا تَعْجَلِى فِيهِ حَتَّى تَسْتَشِيرِى أَبَوَيْكِ» ، قَالَتْ : وَمَا هُوَ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ ؟ ، فَتَلَا عَلَيْهَا الآيَةَ ، قَالَتْ : أَفِيكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ أَسْتَشِيرُ أَبَوَىَّ ؟! ، بَلْ أَخْتَارُ اللهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَالدَّارَ الآخِرَةَ ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ لَا تُخْبِرَ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِكَ بِالَّذِى قُلْتُ ، فَقَالَ الرَّسُولُ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ : «لَا تَسْأَلُنِى امْرَأَةٌ مِنْهُنَّ إِلَّا أَخْبَرْتُهَا ، إِنَّ اللهَ لَمْ يَبْعَثْنِى مُعَنِّتًا وَلَا مُتَعَنِّتًا ، وَلَكِنْ بَعَثَنِى مُعَلِّمًا مُيَسِّرًا
I want to put before you a matter that I would like you to not hasten until you have consulted your parents. She said, and what is it Messenger of Allāh. Then he recited the verse:
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُل لِّأَزْوَاجِكَ إِن كُنتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا وَزِينَتَهَا فَتَعَالَيْنَ أُمَتِّعْكُنَّ وَأُسَرِّحْكُنَّ سَرَاحًا جَمِيلًا
Al Ahzaab (33) 28: O Prophet, say to your wives, “If you should desire the worldly life and its adornment, then come, I will provide for you and give you a gracious release.
Shall I consult my parents about you, Messenger of Allāh ? No, I choose Allāh and His Messenger and the home of the hereafter, but I ask you not to tell any of your wives what I have said (she said this out of her desire to have the Prophet all to herself). He replied, none of them will ask me except that I will inform her (to facilitate the decisions of the other wives). Allāh did not send me to be harsh or find faults, but sent me to teach and facilitate. [Muslim 1478]
And corrupting relationships could be between siblings and their parents. One of the children may complain about their sibling to their parent to charge them against the sibling and win favor with the parent. And this enmity and great corruption causes divide between parents and their children.
Allāh Almighty said:
فَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَأَصْلِحُوا ذَاتَ بَيْنِكُمْ
An Anfaal (8) 1: So be conscious of Allāh and amend that which is between you
And Allāh Almighty said:
إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ إِخْوَةٌ فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَ أَخَوَيْكُمْ ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُرْحَمُونَ
Al Hujuraat (49) 10: The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islâmic religion). So make reconciliation between your brothers, and fear Allâh, that you may receive mercy.
أَقُولُ مَا تَسْمَعُونَ وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ مِنْ كُلِّ ذَنْبٍ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
I say what you have heard and I seek forgiveness from Allah for me and you from every sin. So seek forgives from Him, Verily He is Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful.
Second Khutbah
الحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ, وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللهِ , وَ أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَاْ إِلَهَ إِلَّاْ اَللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَاْشَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدَاً عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُوْلُهُ
All praise is to Allah, and peace and blessings upon the Messenger of Allah, and I bear witness that there is no deity other than Allah and I bear witness that Mohammad is His slave and messenger.
Oh Muslims:
The forms of damaging relationships has intensified through social media. For it is not limited to ruining relations between two specific individuals. Rather, it can be done in a more general manner and have a wider impact. For example, children could be incited against their parents and wives against their husbands. And this is from the handiwork of satan. The Prophet ﷺ said:
إِنَّ إِبْلِيسَ يَضَعُ عَرْشَهُ عَلَى الْمَاءِ ، ثُمَّ يَبْعَثُ سَرَايَاهُ ، فَأَدْنَاهُمْ مِنْهُ مَنْزِلَةً أَعْظَمُهُمْ فِتْنَةً ؛ يَجِىءُ أَحَدُهُمْ فَيَقُولُ : فَعَلْتُ كَذَا وَكَذَا ، فَيَقُولُ : مَا صَنَعْتَ شَيْئًا ، قَالَ : ثُمَّ يَجِىءُ أَحَدُهُمْ فَيَقُولُ مَا تَرَكْتُهُ حَتَّى فَرَّقْتُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ امْرَأَتِهِ ، قَالَ : فَيُدْنِيهِ مِنْهُ وَيَلْتَزِمُهُ ، وَيَقُولُ نِعْمَ أَنْتَ
Iblis sets his throne on the water, then sends detachments (to tempt mankind), the closest in station to him is the one causing the most discord. One of them comes and says, I have done such and such, but he replies, You have done nothing. Then one of them comes and says, I did not leave him till I separated him from his wife. He then brings him near to himself saying, how good are you. [Muslim 2813b]
For this discord is caused by inciting conflict. And for this reason the Prophet ﷺsaid:
اسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا
Treat women kindly [Tirmithi 1163]
That is enjoin one another to be kind to women and safeguard their rights, and not the opposite of that. For counsels and gatherings in which wives are undermined and their shortcomings are magnified have no good. And counsels in which the relationship between the son and his father or mother is ruined or the relationship between siblings is corrupted have no goodness.
And sometimes a father is incited against his son without him sensing. So his son falls from his eyes and he keeps mentioning his son’s faults, while there is no one without shortcomings and faults. Then, the relationship unravels. And perhaps the one who incited did not sense the impact of his transgression and the damage that his words inflicted.
And how many people are unaware of the faults of their wife, friends, father, son, daughter or boss. Then someone comes along and occupies him with what he was previously unaware. As he does not know the rulings of this abhorrent behavior and how to repel it. Instead, he deviates and misguides others.
Inciting and corrupting relations is not an insignificant and trivial matter. It wipes out one’s religion and devours their good deeds. So safeguard your tongues against others and their relationships. And beware of damaging relationships through your words. And do not say except what you like Allāh to hear from you. And remember the words of the Prophet ﷺ:
وَهَلْ يَكُبُّ النَّاسَ فِي النَّارِ عَلَى وُجُوهِهِمْ أَوْ عَلَى مَنَاخِرِهِمْ إِلَّا حَصَائِدُ أَلْسِنَتِهِمْ
Are people thrown into the Fire upon their faces or upon their noses for anything other than the harvest of their tongues? [Sunan Ibn Majah 3973]
May Allāh Almighty make us among those who speak only for spreading goodness and who choose their words just as the finest fruits are selected. Indeed Allāh is All Hearing, Answering.
هَذَا وَصَلُّوا وَسَلِّمُوا عَلَى نَبِيِّكُم كَمَا أَمَرَكُمْ بِذلِكَ رَبُّكُمْ , فَقَالَ
I conclude with this and send prayers of blessings and peace upon your Prophet as your Lord commanded:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ۚ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا
Al Ahzaab (33) 56: Indeed, Allah confers blessing upon the Prophet, and His angels [ask Him to do so]. O you who have believed, ask [ Allah to confer] blessing upon him and ask [ Allah to grant him] peace.
اللَّهُمَّ اهْدِنا فِيمَنْ هَدَيْتَ وَعَافِنا فِيمَنْ عَافَيْتَ وَتَوَلَّنا فِيمَنْ تَوَلَّيْتَ وَبَارِكْ لنا فِيمَا أَعْطَيْتَ وَقِنا شَرَّ مَا قَضَيْتَ إِنَّكَ تَقْضِي وَلاَ يُقْضَى عَلَيْكَ وَإِنَّهُ لاَ يَذِلُّ مَنْ وَالَيْتَ تَبَارَكْتَ رَبَّنَا وَتَعَالَيْتَ
O Allah, guide us with those whom You have guided, grant us well-being among those You have granted well-being, be an ally to us along with those whom You are an ally to, and bless what You have bestowed upon us, and save us from the evil of what You have decreed. For verily You decree and none can decree over You. He whom You support can never be humiliated. Glory is to You, our Lord, You are Blessed and Exalted.
اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ كُلِّهِ عَاجِلِهِ وَآجِلِهِ مَا عَلِمْنا مِنْهُ وَمَا لَمْ نَعْلَمْ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الشَّرِّ كُلِّهِ عَاجِلِهِ وَآجِلِهِ مَا عَلِمْنا مِنْهُ وَمَا لَمْ نَعْلَمْ اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِ مَا سَأَلَكَ عَبْدُكَ وَنَبِيُّكَ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا عَاذَ بِهِ عَبْدُكَ وَنَبِيُّكَ اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ الْجَنَّةَ وَمَا قَرَّبَ إِلَيْهَا مِنْ قَوْلٍ أَوْ عَمَلٍ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ النَّارِ وَمَا قَرَّبَ إِلَيْهَا مِنْ قَوْلٍ أَوْ عَمَلٍ وَنَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تَجْعَلَ كُلَّ قَضَاءٍ قَضَيْتَهُ لَنا خَيْرًا
O Allah, We ask You for all that is good, in this world and in the Hereafter, what we know and what we do not know. O Allah, we seek refuge with You from all evil, in this world and in the Hereafter, what we know and what we do not know. O Allah, we ask You for the good that Your servant and Prophet has asked You for, and we seek refuge with You from the evil from which Your servant and Prophet sought refuge. O Allah, we ask You for Paradise and for that which brings one closer to it, in word and deed, and we seek refuge in You from Hell and from that which brings one closer to it, in word and deed. And we ask You to make every decree that You decree concerning us good
عِبَادَ اللّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ
Servants of Allah. Indeed, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and forbids immorality and bad conduct and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.
اُذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ الْعَظِيمَ يَذْكُرْكُمْ واشْكُرُوهُ يَزِدْكُمْ واسْتَغْفِرُوهُ يَغْفِرْ لكُمْ واتّقُوهُ يَجْعَلْ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَمْرِكُمْ مَخْرَجًا وَأَقِمِ الصّلَاة
Remember Allah, the Great – He will remember you. Thank Him for His favors – He will increase you therein. And seek forgiveness from Him – He will forgive you. And be conscious of Him – He will provide you a way out of difficult matters. And, establish the prayer.
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