Sadness in the Light of the Shariah

https://www.khutbah.info/sadness-in-the-light-of-the-shariah/ Indeed Allah, Whose power is absolute and Whose command is supreme, has created the human soul in the best of forms, carried it through land and sea, provided it with good sustenance, and favored it greatly over many of His creations. Among what Allah has created in this soul are feelings, emotions, affections, and sensations, that the soul expresses through laughter, crying, worry, grief, anger, sadness, and happiness, to the extent that it is effected by these underlying causes. As mentioned in the Quran: An-Najm (53) 42-44: (42) And that to your Lord is the finality (43) And that it is He who makes [one] laugh and weep (44) And that it is He who causes death and gives life.

إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ ,نَحْمَدُهُ  ,وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ  وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ ,  وَنَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا  ,مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللهُ  فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ ,  وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ ,  وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ   وَأَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ    

Verily, all praise is for Allah. We praise Him, we seek His assistance and we ask for His forgiveness. And we seek refuge in Him from the evils of our selves. Whoever Allah guides, none can misguide. Whoever He misguides, none can guide. And I bear witness that there is no deity other than Allah and I bear witness that Mohammad is His slave and messenger.

 يَا أَيُّهَا الّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُونَ – آل عمران:102 

Al Imran 102 : O you who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared, and die not except in a state of Islam.

Oh people:

Indeed Allah, Whose power is absolute and Whose command is supreme, has created the human soul in the best of forms, carried it through land and sea, provided it with good sustenance, and favored it greatly over many of His creations. Among what Allah has created in this soul are feelings, emotions, affections, and sensations, that the soul expresses through laughter, crying, worry, grief, anger, sadness, and happiness, to the extent that it is effected by these underlying causes. As mentioned in the Quran:

وَأَنَّ إِلَى رَبِّكَ الْمُنْتَهَى * وَأَنَّهُ هُوَ أَضْحَكَ وَأَبْكَى * وَأَنَّهُ هُوَ أَمَاتَ وَأَحْيَا-النجم 42-44

An-Najm (53) 42-44: (42) And that to your Lord is the finality (43) And that it is He who makes [one] laugh and weep (44) And that it is He who causes death and gives life.

Among the feelings placed in the soul are sadness and regret, which people experience from time to time due to the stresses and trials that accompany them. However, many people lack the awareness and understanding of these feelings, preventing them from properly comprehending and dealing with them within the limits of the ordained approach. It is out of Allah’s wisdom, that He decreed that these feelings of sadness and regret only touch people  temporarily and not continuously. Otherwise, constantly experiencing only one of these emotions could cause a person to perish. Similarly, if one lived in constant joy without experiencing sadness, it could lead to hardness of the heart or its death. Ibrahim At-Taymii, may Allah have mercy on him, said: ‘One who does not feel sadness should fear being among the people of Hell, for the people of Paradise say: 

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي أَذْهَبَ عَنَّا الْحَزَنَ إِنَّ رَبَّنَا لَغَفُورٌ شَكُورٌ-فاطر 34

Fatir (35) 34: Praise be to Allah, who has removed from us [all] sorrow. Indeed, our Lord is Forgiving and Appreciative.

Sadness is the opposite of joy and happiness and results from something disliked happening or from losing something beloved. And if it is related to the future, it is called worry. And if  sadness becomes so intense that it distracts a person from what is on their mind and prevents them from continuing on the path, then they are said to be in a state of despondency, which is more severe than sadness, and prohibited by the Sharia.

The reason for the prohibition is that it provides no benefit to the heart. Instead, it is the most beloved matter to Satan to sadden a person to cut them off from the path of truth. As Allah Almighty said: 

إِنَّمَا النَّجْوَى مِنْ الشَّيْطَانِ لِيَحْزُنَ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَلَيْسَ بِضَارِّهِمْ شَيْئًا إِلاَّ بِإِذْنِ اللَّهِ-المجادلة 10

Al-Mujadila (58) 10: Private conversation is only from Satan that he may grieve those who have believed, but he will not harm them at all except by permission of Allah.

And the saying of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ:               

إِذَا كُنْتُمْ ثَلَاثَةً, فَلَا يَتَنَاجَى اِثْنَانِ دُونَ اَلْآخَرِ, حَتَّى تَخْتَلِطُوا بِالنَّاسِ; مِنْ أَجْلِ أَنَّ ذَلِكَ يُحْزِنُهُ 

When you are three, do not speak privately, excluding the third person, until you mix with other people, for that would sadden him. [Bukhari 6290, Muslim 2184]

And the Prophet’s saying about types of dreams: 

وَالرُّؤْيَا تَحْزِينٌ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ

And a dream that causes sadness is from Satan. [Bukhari 7017, Muslim 2263a]

O Muslims, the correct Islamic understanding of dealing with sadness is unique and exclusive to the Islamic community. For the understanding of non-Muslims in dealing with sadness is narrow in scope, trivial in aim, and weak in treatment. The Islamic understanding surpasses such an approach. Islamically, sadness falls into five categories:

The first category is disliked sadness, which occurs due to missing out on something worldly. One should overcome this type of sadness, as Allah says: 

مَا أَصَابَ مِنْ مُصِيبَةٍ فِي الأَرْضِ وَلا فِي أَنْفُسِكُمْ إِلاَّ فِي كِتَابٍ مِنْ قَبْلِ أَنْ نَبْرَأَهَا إِنَّ ذَلِكَ عَلَى اللَّهِ يَسِيرٌ * لِكَيْلا تَأْسَوْا عَلَى مَا فَاتَكُمْ وَلا تَفْرَحُوا بِمَا آتَاكُمْ وَاللَّهُ لا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ-الحديد:22- 23 

Al-Hadid (57) 22-23: (22) No disaster strikes upon the earth or among yourselves except that it is in a record before We bring it into being – indeed that, for Allah, is easy  (23) So that you do not despair over what has eluded you and not exult [in pride] over what He has given you. And Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful.

The second category is obligatory sadness. And it is one of the conditions of a sincere repentance, manifested by regret for committing a sin. And regret is sadness in the heart due to what the limbs have committed of sins and misdeeds.

The third category is recommended sadness, and it is in response to the discontinuation of an act of obedience or to missing out on an act of obedience. Allah Almighty describes the condition of the poor who were not able to join the Prophet in the Tabuk campaign: 

وَلا عَلَى الَّذِينَ إِذَا مَا أَتَوْكَ لِتَحْمِلَهُمْ قُلْتَ لا أَجِدُ مَا أَحْمِلُكُمْ عَلَيْهِ تَوَلَّوا وَأَعْيُنُهُمْ تَفِيضُ مِنْ الدَّمْعِ حَزَنًا أَلاَّ يَجِدُوا مَا يُنفِقُونَ-التوبة 92 

At-Tawba (9) 92: Nor [is there blame] upon those who, when they came to you that you might take them along, you said, “I can find nothing for you to ride upon.” They turned back, [their] eyes overflowing with tears out of grief that they could not find something to spend.

The fourth category is permissible sadness, and it is in response to a calamity befalling, such as the loss of a child, friend, spouse, mother, or father. As Allah Almighty says about the grief of Jacob, peace be upon him, over his son Yusuf, peace be upon him: 

وَقَالَ يَا أَسَفَى عَلَى يُوسُفَ وَابْيَضَّتْ عَيْنَاهُ مِنَ الْحُزْنِ فَهُوَ كَظِيمٌ-يوسف 84

Yusuf (12) 84: And he said, “Oh, my sorrow over Joseph,” and his eyes became white from grief, for he was [of that] a suppressor.

And the Prophet ﷺ grieved over his companions who were killed at the well of Ma’uuna. He turned to Allah to complain about human injustice and supplicated against the killers for a month, saying: 

اللَّهُمَّ اشْدُدْ وَطْأَتَكَ عَلَى مُضَرَ، وَاجْعَلْهَا عَلَيْهِمْ سِنِينَ كَسِنِي يُوسُفَ 

O Allah! Inflict Your punishment on the tribe of Mudar and let them suffer from famine years like that of the time of Yusuf. [Bukhari 804]

The fifth category of sadness is reprehensible and forbidden sadness. And it is sadness over the negligence of those who turn away from the truth and the ordainments of Allah Almighty. Allah Almighty says: 

يَا أَيُّهَا الرَّسُولُ لا يَحْزُنْكَ الَّذِينَ يُسَارِعُونَ فِي الْكُفْرِ-المائدة 41

Al-Ma’idah (5) 41: O Messenger, let them not grieve you who hasten into disbelief.

And Allah Almighty said: 

فَلا تَذْهَبْ نَفْسُكَ عَلَيْهِمْ حَسَرَاتٍ-فاطر 90 

Fatir (35) 90: So let not their words grieve you.

However, if the sadness is due to contemplation, remembrance, and reflecting upon Allah’s greatness and His power to punish the deviant and astray, then it is exempted.

أَقُولُ مَا تَسْمَعُونَ وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ  لِي وَلَكُمْ مِنْ كُلِّ ذَنْبٍ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ  إِنَّهُ هُوَ الغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

I say what you have heard and I seek forgiveness from Allah for me and you from every sin. So seek forgives from Him, Verily He is Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful.

Second Khutbah

الحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ,  وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللهِ  , وَ أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَاْ إِلَهَ إِلَّاْ اَللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَاْشَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدَاً عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُوْلُهُ

All praise is to Allah, and peace and blessings upon the Messenger of Allah, and I bear witness that there is no deity other than Allah and I bear witness that Mohammad is His slave and messenger.

Oh Muslims:

Know that part of Islam’s magnificence and mercy is that it did not leave out anything good without directing the Islamic community to it. This includes ways of handling   feelings of sadness. The Islamic approach to dealing with sadness is extremely proficient and comprehensive, through seeking refuge from sadness before it occurs, then by rewarding  patience upon it after it occurs, and then in ways of removing sadness.

For the Prophet ﷺ often sought refuge from sadness with these words: 

اللَّهُمَّ إنِّي أعُوذُ بكَ مِنَ الهَمِّ والحَزَنِ، والعَجْزِ والكَسَلِ، والجُبْنِ والبُخْلِ، وضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ، وغَلَبَةِ الرِّجالِ”. رواه البخاري ومسلم

O Allah, I seek refuge in You from worry and sadness, incapacity and laziness, cowardice and stinginess, the burden of debt and the overbearingness of men.[Bukhari 6369,  Muslim 2706]

And the Prophet ﷺ said:

مَا يُصِيبُ الْمُسْلِمَ مِنْ نَصَبٍ وَلاَ وَصَبٍ وَلاَ هَمٍّ وَلاَ حُزْنٍ وَلاَ أَذًى وَلاَ غَمٍّ حَتَّى الشَّوْكَةِ يُشَاكُهَا، إِلاَّ كَفَّرَ اللَّهُ بِهَا مِنْ خَطَايَاهُ

No fatigue, illness, worry, sadness, or harm befalls a Muslim, even a prick from a thorn, except that Allah expiates some of his sins because of that.   [Bukhari 5641 , Muslim 2573].

As for removing sadness  after its occurs, the Shariah has provided two effective remedies.

One of them is a material, physical remedy, which  is a food called Talbina. It is a porridge made from barley flour, containing honey or milk or both. As narrated by both Bukhari and Muslim, Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her,  used to command making Talbina for the sick or for those grieving over a deceased person. She said that I heard the Messenger of Allah ﷺ say: 

إِنَّ التَّلْبِينَةَ تُجِمُّ فُؤَادَ الْمَرِيضِ،وَتَذْهَبُ بِبَعْضِ الْحُزْنِ.  

Indeed, Talbina soothes the heart of the patient and removes some of the sadness. [Bukhari 5689]

And his saying, ‘soothes the heart,’ means it calms it.

The other is a spiritual remedy, as indicated by the Prophet ﷺ who said: 

ما قال عبد قطّ إذا أصابه همّ وحزن اللّهُـمَّ إِنِّي عَبْـدُكَ ابْنُ عَبْـدِكَ ابْنُ أَمَتِـكَ نَاصِيَتِي بِيَـدِكَ مَاضٍ فِيَّ حُكْمُكَ عَدْلٌ فِيَّ قَضَاؤكَ أَسْأَلُـكَ بِكُلِّ اسْمٍ هُوَ لَكَ سَمَّـيْتَ بِهِ نَفْسَكَ أِوْ أَنْزَلْتَـهُ فِي كِتَابِكَ  أَوْ عَلَّمْـتَهُ أَحَداً مِنْ خَلْقِـكَ أَوِ اسْتَـأْثَرْتَ بِهِ فِي عِلْمِ الغَيْـبِ عِنْـدَكَ أَنْ تَجْـعَلَ القُرْآنَ رَبِيـعَ قَلْبِـي وَنورَ صَـدْرِي وجَلَاءَ حُـزْنِي وذَهَابَ هَمِّـي إلا أذهب الله -عز وجل- همَّه، وأبدله مكانَ حزنه فرحًا، قالوا: يا رسول الله: ينبغي لنا أن نتعلَّم هؤلاء الكلمات ! قال  أجل، ينبغي لمن سمِعهنّ أن يتعلَّمهن . رواه أحمد.

No servant has ever said when afflicted with worry and sadness: “O Allah, I am Your servant, son of Your servant, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or taught to any of Your creation, or preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Quran the spring of my heart, the light of my chest, the banisher of my sadness, and the reliever of my distress,” except that Allah will remove his sadness and replace it with joy.’ They said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, should we not learn these words?’ He said: ‘Yes, whoever hears them should learn them.’ [Ahmad 3712]

Added to this, is a psychological treatment, in which the grief-stricken person reflects within themselves and recalls the greatness of Allah Almighty, His decree, and His destiny, and that what befell them could not have missed them, and what missed them could not have befallen them, until their soul calms down and that which affects them goes away. This is what is referred to in contemporary psychiatric terminology as cognitive therapy.

Allah Almighty said: 

إِنَّ الَّذِينَ قَالُوا رَبُّنَا اللَّهُ ثُمَّ اسْتَقَامُوا تَتَنَزَّلُ عَلَيْهِمْ الْمَلائِكَةُ أَلاَّ تَخَافُوا وَلا تَحْزَنُوا وَأَبْشِرُوا بِالْجَنَّةِ الَّتِي كُنْتُمْ تُوعَدُونَ * نَحْنُ أَوْلِيَاؤُكُمْ فِي الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَفِي الآخِرَةِ وَلَكُمْ فِيهَا مَا تَشْتَهِي أَنفُسُكُمْ وَلَكُمْ فِيهَا مَا تَدَّعُونَ * نُزُلاً مِنْ غَفُورٍ رَحِيمٍ-فصلت 30-32

Fussilat (41) 30-32: (30) Those who say, “Our Lord is Allah,” and then remain steadfast, the angels will descend upon them, [saying], “Do not fear and do not grieve but receive good tidings of Paradise, which you were promised. (31) We [angels] were your allies in worldly life and [are so] in the Hereafter. And you will have therein whatever your souls desire, and you will have therein whatever you request [or wish], (32) as accommodation from a [Lord who is] Forgiving and Merciful.

Oh Allah uplift our hearts and raise our spirits and fill our hearts with Iman, tranquility, contentment and gratitude. Indeed Allah is All Hearing, Answering. 

هَذَا وَصَلُّوا وَسَلِّمُوا عَلَى نَبِيِّكُم كَمَا أَمَرَكُمْ بِذلِكَ رَبُّكُمْ , فَقَالَ

I conclude with this and send prayers of blessings and peace upon your Prophet as your Lord commanded:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ۚ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا

Al Ahzaab (33) 56: Indeed, Allah confers blessing upon the Prophet, and His angels [ask Him to do so]. O you who have believed, ask [ Allah to confer] blessing upon him and ask [ Allah to grant him] peace.

اللَّهُمَّ اهْدِنا فِيمَنْ هَدَيْتَ وَعَافِنا فِيمَنْ عَافَيْتَ وَتَوَلَّنا فِيمَنْ تَوَلَّيْتَ وَبَارِكْ لنا فِيمَا أَعْطَيْتَ وَقِنا شَرَّ مَا قَضَيْتَ إِنَّكَ تَقْضِي وَلاَ يُقْضَى عَلَيْكَ وَإِنَّهُ لاَ يَذِلُّ مَنْ وَالَيْتَ تَبَارَكْتَ رَبَّنَا وَتَعَالَيْتَ

O Allah, guide us with those whom You have guided, grant us well-being among those You have granted well-being, be an ally to us along with those whom You are an ally to, and bless what You have bestowed upon us, and save us from the evil of what You have decreed.  For verily You decree and none can decree over You. He whom You support can never be humiliated. Glory is to You, our Lord, You are Blessed and Exalted.

اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ كُلِّهِ عَاجِلِهِ وَآجِلِهِ مَا عَلِمْنا مِنْهُ وَمَا لَمْ نَعْلَمْ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الشَّرِّ كُلِّهِ عَاجِلِهِ وَآجِلِهِ مَا عَلِمْنا مِنْهُ وَمَا لَمْ نَعْلَمْ اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِ مَا سَأَلَكَ عَبْدُكَ وَنَبِيُّكَ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا عَاذَ بِهِ عَبْدُكَ وَنَبِيُّكَ اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ الْجَنَّةَ وَمَا قَرَّبَ إِلَيْهَا مِنْ قَوْلٍ أَوْ عَمَلٍ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ النَّارِ وَمَا قَرَّبَ إِلَيْهَا مِنْ قَوْلٍ أَوْ عَمَلٍ وَنَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تَجْعَلَ كُلَّ قَضَاءٍ قَضَيْتَهُ لَنا خَيْرًا

O Allah, We ask You for all that is good, in this world and in the Hereafter, what we know and what we do not know. O Allah, we seek refuge with You from all evil, in this world and in the Hereafter, what we know and what we do not know. O Allah, we ask You for the good that Your servant and Prophet has asked You for, and we seek refuge with You from the evil from which Your servant and Prophet sought refuge. O Allah, we ask You for Paradise and for that which brings one closer to it, in word and deed, and we seek refuge in You from Hell and from that which brings one closer to it, in word and deed. And we ask You to make every decree that You decree concerning us good

 عِبَادَ اللّهِ  إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ  يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ

Servants of Allah. Indeed, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and forbids immorality and bad conduct and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded. 

اُذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ الْعَظِيمَ يَذْكُرْكُمْ واشْكُرُوهُ يَزِدْكُمْ واسْتَغْفِرُوهُ يَغْفِرْ لكُمْ واتّقُوهُ يَجْعَلْ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَمْرِكُمْ مَخْرَجًا   وَأَقِمِ الصّلَاة

Remember Allah, the Great – He will remember you. Thank Him for His favors – He will increase you therein.  And seek forgiveness from Him – He will forgive you. And be conscious of Him – He will provide you a way out of difficult matters. And, establish the prayer.  

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