https://www.khutbah.info/dutifulness-to-the-mother/ All praise is due to Allah the All Knowing Creator. He placed mercy in the hearts of the mothers. To the point that the animal raises its hoof away from her son with mercy fearing that she will step on him. We praise Allah for His guidance. He ordained the religion for His servants. And distributed rights between them. He has given each person who has rights their rights. Be conscious of Allah and obey Him. And know what is due upon you of rights so that you can fulfill them. For there are rights purely to Allah such as the acts of worship. And rights related to our parents, our relatives, our neighbors and the people that we interact with. He the Exalted mandated them upon us. It is part of His religion that He ordained for us. And on the day of Resurrection He will hold us accountable for it:
إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ ,نَحْمَدُهُ ,وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ , وَنَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا ,مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ , وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ , وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ وَأَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ
Verily, all praise is for Allah. We praise Him, we seek His assistance and we ask for His forgiveness. And we seek refuge in Him from the evils of our selves. Whoever Allah guides, none can misguide. Whoever He misguides, none can guide. And I bear witness that there is no deity other than Allah and I bear witness that Mohammad is His slave and messenger.
يَا أَيُّهَا الّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُونَ – آل عمران:102
Al Imran 102 : O you who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared, and die not except in a state of Islam.
All praise is due to Allah the All Knowing Creator. He placed mercy in the hearts of the mothers. To the point that the animal raises its hoof away from her son with mercy fearing that she will step on him. We praise Allah for His guidance. He ordained the religion for His servants. And distributed rights between them. He has given each person who has rights their rights.
يُبَيِّنُ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ أَنْ تَضِلُّوا وَاللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ النساء:176
An Nisa (4) 176: Allah makes clear to you [His law], lest you go astray. And Allah is Knowing of all things.
The Messenger of Allah visited the grave of his mother and wept, and caused those around him to weep. He said:
استأذنت ربي في أن أستغفر لها فلم يؤذن لي واستأذنته في أن أزور قبرها فأذن لي
I asked my Lord for permission to pray for forgiveness for her and He did not give me permission, and I asked Him for permission to visit her grave and He gave me permission [Muslim 976b]
He did not do that except to uphold her rights and to be dutiful towards her.
Be conscious of Allah and obey Him. And know what is due upon you of rights so that you can fulfill them. For there are rights purely to Allah such as the acts of worship. And rights related to our parents, our relatives, our neighbors and the people that we interact with. He the Exalted mandated them upon us. It is part of His religion that He ordained for us. And on the day of Resurrection He will hold us accountable for it:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَلا تَوَلَّوْا عَنْهُ وَأَنْتُمْ تَسْمَعُونَ الأنفال: 20
Al Anfal (8) 20: O you who have believed, obey Allah and His Messenger and do not turn from him while you hear [his order].
There is no right due upon a person that is bigger and greater after the right of Allah Almighty and the right of His Messenger ﷺ than the rights of the parents. That was demonstrated by the texts of the Quran and Sunnah. And Allah Almighty took a covenant in this regard from those who were before us:
وَإِذْ أَخَذْنَا مِيثَاقَ بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ لا تَعْبُدُونَ إِلاَّ اللَّهَ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَاناً البقرة: 83
Al Baqarah (2) 83: And [recall] when We took the covenant from the Children of Israel, [enjoining upon them], “Do not worship except Allah; and to parents do good.
And He the Glorified mandated in our Shariah with the strongest and most eloquent terms, and He coupled it with Tawhid of Him and prohibition of associating others with Him:
وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئاً وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَاناً النساء:36
AnNisa (4) 36: Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُوا إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَاناً الإسراء:23
Al Isra 23: And your Lord has decreed that you worship not except Him, and to parents, good treatment.
Allah expressed it in terms of the decree which is from the strongest expressions of commanding and mandating. And the decree of a judge is carried out. And Allah is the most just of judges. And the fairest and most powerful of them. Rather He made dutifulness to the parents an instruction that He enjoined upon His servants:
قُلْ تَعَالَوْا أَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ أَلاَّ تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئاً وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَاناً [الأنعام:151].
Al Anam (6) 151: Say, “Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment”
Then he concluded the verse with:
ذَلِكُمْ وَصَّاكُمْ بِهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَعْقِلُونَ الأنعام:151
This has He instructed you that you may use reason.
And the mother takes precedence over the father with respect to dutifulness. And she has more rights due to her from her son than the rights owed by the son to his father. Because the pure shariah came with this and she is the weaker of the two parents. And because she was pregnant, gave birth and nursed:
حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْناً عَلَى وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ لقمان:14
Luqman 14: His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years.
And in another verse:
حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ كُرْهاً وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهاً وَحَمْلُهُ وَفِصَالُهُ ثَلاثُونَ شَهْراً الأحقاف:15
Al Ahqaf 15: And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months.
And this was indicated in the Sunnah as narrated by Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said:
: قال رجل: يا رسول الله: من أحق الناس بحسن صحابتي ! قال: “أمك , ثم أمك, ثم أمك ثم أبوك”. البخاري: 5971، مسلم:2548
A man came to Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and asked, “Who among people is most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (ﷺ) said, “Your mother”. He again asked, ”Who next?” “Your mother”, the Prophet (ﷺ) replied again. He asked, “Who next?” He (the Prophet (ﷺ)) said again, “Your mother.” He again asked, “Then who?” Thereupon he (ﷺ) said,” Then your father.” [al-Bukhari 5971, Muslim 2548]
And in another hadith:
“إن الله يوصيكم بأمهاتكم” ثلاثًا “إن الله يوصيكم بآبائكم…”. رواه ابن ماجه 2969
“Allah enjoins you to treat your mother’s kindly”-three times- “Allah enjoins you to treat your fathers and the closest and the next closest kindly…” [ibn Majah 2969]
And Muawiyah bin Haidah ( معاوية بن حيدة ) (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
قلتُ يا رسولَ اللهِ من أبرُّ أمَّك, ثم أمّك, ثم أمّك, ثم أباك, ثم الأقربُ فالأقربُ. أبوداود 5139 أحمد 20028
“O Messenger of Allah! Who is most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (ﷺ) said, “Your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then your nearest, then nearest”. [Abu Dawood 5139, Ahmad 20028]
Based on these Hadith, the mother has three rights and the father has one right. Therefore, a son should allocate three quarters of his dutifulness to his mother, and a quarter for his father. However, many people do not understand this matter.
And ingratitude towards the mother is a greater crime than ingratitude towards the father. Even though all ingratitude towards parents is a crime. And as Prophet ﷺindicated in Sahih al-Bukhari and Muslim that Allah Almighty has forbidden ingratitude towards mothers.
It is obligatory to maintain good relations with the mother and being dutiful to her and treat her in the best fashion even if she is a disbeliever while not obeying her in sin:
وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفاًلقمان:15
Luqman 15: But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness.
And Asmaa the daughter of Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with them) said:
قدمت عليّ أمي وهي مشركة في عهد رسول الله -صلى الله عليه وسلم- فاستفتيت رسول الله -صلى الله عليه وسلم- قلت: إن أمي قدمت وهي راغبة أفأصل أمي ! قال: “نعم
صلي أمك”. البخاري: 2620، مسلم:1003
My mother came to me during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger ﷺ and she was a polytheist. So I sought a verdict from the Messenger of Allah ﷺ stating: my mother came seeking my kindness, shall I maintain good relations with her?” He ﷺ replied, “Yes, maintain good relations with your mother”. [al Bukhari 2620 and Muslim 1003]
We ask Allah Almighty to grant us the religious knowledge and putting it into practice and to help us with being dutiful to our parents and excellence in kindness towards them. As Ibrahim (peace be upon him) said:
رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ إبراهيم: 41
Ibrahim (14) 41: Our Lord, forgive me and my parents and the believers the Day the account is established.
أَقُولُ مَا تَسْمَعُونَ وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ مِنْ كُلِّ ذَنْبٍ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
I say what you have heard and I seek forgiveness from Allah for me and you from every sin. So seek forgives from Him, Verily He is Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful.
الحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ, وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللهِ , وَ أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَاْ إِلَهَ إِلَّاْ اَللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَاْشَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدَاً عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُوْلُهُ
All praise is to Allah, and peace and blessings upon the Messenger of Allah, and I bear witness that there is no deity other than Allah and I bear witness that Mohammad is His slave and messenger.
Whoever is seeking the greatest deeds and reward should know that gratitude to the mother is one of the wide doors of paradise. It is not neglected except by those who have deprived themselves. It was narrated that Mu’awiyah bin Jahimah As-Sulaimi ( معاوية بن جاهمة السلمي ) came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ three times seeking to accompany him in Jihad. Each time he ﷺ responded to him:
“ويحك! أحية أمك !” قال: نعم يا رسول الله قال: “ويحك الزم رجلها فثم الجنة”. ابن ماجه:2259
‘Woe to you! Is your mother still alive?’ He said: ‘Yes’. He ﷺ said: ‘Go back and adhere to her leg (serve her), for there is Paradise.’ [Ibn Majah 2259]
And from this, some righteous people adopted the practice of kissing the feet of their mother. A righteous man used to kiss his mother’s feet every day and once when he was late in meeting his brothers they asked him where were you? He said: I was basking in a meadow of Paradise, for it has reached us that paradise is under the feet of the mothers.
When the mother of Judge Eyaas ( إياس) passed, he wept and it was said: What makes you weep Abu Waathela?! He responded: “I had two open doors to paradise and one of them closed.”
And Mohammad bin Al Munkader (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “My brother Omar spent the night in prayer while I massaged my mother’s leg. And I would not like to replace my actions with his.”
And Hesham bin Hassaan said: “ I said to Al Hassan: Indeed I learn the Quran while my mother is waiting with the dinner. Al Hassan responded: Having dinner with your mother through which you please her is more beloved than performing a voluntary Hajj. “
So where are people with regards to being dutiful towards their mothers and looking after them? And serving them in accordance to these great hadith and traditions indicating the rights of the mother and the virtue of being dutiful towards her.
So beware oh servants of Allah for the rights of our mothers upon us are many. And being dutiful towards them is among the greatest obligations. And there are many textual evidences in this regard. And from them is the instruction of Allah to Jesus (peace be upon him) that he uttered as an infant:
وَأَوْصَانِي بِالصَّلاةِ وَالزَّكَاةِ مَا دُمْتُ حَيّاً * وَبَرّاً بِوَالِدَتِي وَلَمْ يَجْعَلْنِي جَبَّاراً شَقِيّاً مريم:31-32
Maryam 31-32: (31) And He has made me blessed wherever I am and has enjoined upon me prayer and zakah as long as I remain alive (32) And [made me] dutiful to my mother, and He has not made me a wretched tyrant.
هَذَا وَصَلُّوا وَسَلِّمُوا عَلَى نَبِيِّكُم كَمَا أَمَرَكُمْ بِذلِكَ رَبُّكُمْ , فَقَالَ
I conclude with this and send prayers of blessings and peace upon your Prophet as your Lord commanded:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ۚ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا
Al Ahzaab (33) 56: Indeed, Allah confers blessing upon the Prophet, and His angels [ask Him to do so]. O you who have believed, ask [ Allah to confer] blessing upon him and ask [ Allah to grant him] peace.
اللَّهُمَّ اهْدِنا فِيمَنْ هَدَيْتَ وَعَافِنا فِيمَنْ عَافَيْتَ وَتَوَلَّنا فِيمَنْ تَوَلَّيْتَ وَبَارِكْ لنا فِيمَا أَعْطَيْتَ وَقِنا شَرَّ مَا قَضَيْتَ إِنَّكَ تَقْضِي وَلاَ يُقْضَى عَلَيْكَ وَإِنَّهُ لاَ يَذِلُّ مَنْ وَالَيْتَ تَبَارَكْتَ رَبَّنَا وَتَعَالَيْتَ
O Allah, guide us with those whom You have guided, grant us well-being among those You have granted well-being, be an ally to us along with those whom You are an ally to, and bless what You have bestowed upon us, and save us from the evil of what You have decreed. For verily You decree and none can decree over You. He whom You support can never be humiliated. Glory is to You, our Lord, You are Blessed and Exalted.
اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ كُلِّهِ عَاجِلِهِ وَآجِلِهِ مَا عَلِمْنا مِنْهُ وَمَا لَمْ نَعْلَمْ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الشَّرِّ كُلِّهِ عَاجِلِهِ وَآجِلِهِ مَا عَلِمْنا مِنْهُ وَمَا لَمْ نَعْلَمْ اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِ مَا سَأَلَكَ عَبْدُكَ وَنَبِيُّكَ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا عَاذَ بِهِ عَبْدُكَ وَنَبِيُّكَ اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ الْجَنَّةَ وَمَا قَرَّبَ إِلَيْهَا مِنْ قَوْلٍ أَوْ عَمَلٍ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ النَّارِ وَمَا قَرَّبَ إِلَيْهَا مِنْ قَوْلٍ أَوْ عَمَلٍ وَنَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تَجْعَلَ كُلَّ قَضَاءٍ قَضَيْتَهُ لَنا خَيْرًا
O Allah, We ask You for all that is good, in this world and in the Hereafter, what we know and what we do not know. O Allah, we seek refuge with You from all evil, in this world and in the Hereafter, what we know and what we do not know. O Allah, we ask You for the good that Your servant and Prophet has asked You for, and we seek refuge with You from the evil from which Your servant and Prophet sought refuge. O Allah, we ask You for Paradise and for that which brings one closer to it, in word and deed, and we seek refuge in You from Hell and from that which brings one closer to it, in word and deed. And we ask You to make every decree that You decree concerning us good
عِبَادَ اللّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ
Servants of Allah. Indeed, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and forbids immorality and bad conduct and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.
اُذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ الْعَظِيمَ يَذْكُرْكُمْ واشْكُرُوهُ يَزِدْكُمْ واسْتَغْفِرُوهُ يَغْفِرْ لكُمْ واتّقُوهُ يَجْعَلْ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَمْرِكُمْ مَخْرَجًا وَأَقِمِ الصّلَاة
Remember Allah, the Great – He will remember you. Thank Him for His favors – He will increase you therein. And seek forgiveness from Him – He will forgive you. And be conscious of Him – He will provide you a way out of difficult matters. And, establish the prayer.
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